Dec 31 2005

I’ll never forget Dec 31 2005 - One of the scariest days of our life. This is what happened -

We gave our 1.5 year old an Indian sweet (Cashew sweet) and he really enjoyed it. But within 20 minutes he had an allergy breakout in a way we haven't seen before . His body was fully covered with rashes and his face began to swell out of proportions .In case you have seen the movie ‘Hitch’ – it’s the same thing that happens to Will Smith in that movie after eating oysters. Believe me - it is not funny as portrayed in the movie. It’s really scary when it happens to someone in your family. We were horrified, had to call 911 and thank god he became fine after a few hours. But those few hours as a parent was excruciating.

To those reading this – Don’t give any form of nuts to kids unless you are very sure he/she is fine with nuts.

There was a report in CNN recently which said that these incidents of allergy in kids have increased immensely in the last few years and they don’t have a reason for this. So be safe than sorry.

Cannot watch this!

Today Saddam as many know has been executed. I don’t like him just like many around the world for all the atrocities he did. I am not going to argue whether this war is good or bad. I guess enough has been said about it.

But the photos and videos of him minutes before he was hung was something that was not palatable to watch for me as a fellow human being. I don’t know why the media kept showing it as many times as they did.

‘A capital punishment is always tragic news, a reason for sadness; even if it deals with a person who was guilty of grave crimes’ said the Vatican. I totally agree.

I don’t think it’s possible for any human being with heart to watch somebody else die. His last minutes were very depressing to watch.

Stop Comparing!

One thing I have always seen with many parents is that they have this tendency of comparing their kid with some other kid. Personally I think this is bad. Situation is even worse for a kid when he is compared with some other kid within his own or extended family. I think most parents think that it is means of inspiring the kid. But I think they are actually hurting the kid’s feelings rather than influencing in a positive way. This doesn’t stop sometimes even after you grow up. There will always be a peer whom you are compared against and life becomes tough in those situations.

Thank god it hasn’t happened to me. But it used to happen to one of my friends and I know how frustrated he becomes every time that happens.

On the other hand I have seen some for whom such comparison really works. They work hard to reach the same heights as the other. But personally I think you get very stressful in those situations.

There is one more type of people who always compare themselves with some others. They don’t need any outside influence. Those people really get depressed when the person they are looking up to becomes successful. Hate, jealousy and anger just broods inside them.

For very few this kind of self comparison might have a positive influence too.

What do you think?

Research before you move in !

When I lived in an apartment 3 years back, there used to be this landlord who was excessively obsessed with his apartments. He was a nice guy except for his obsession. He maintains the apartment very well, takes care of all repairs in a timely manner etc…

Just like any other Indian we cook really spicy aromatic food and it used to bother him so much. So once in a while he would knock the door to tell us to keep the windows open when we cook (Even in winter!). That used to bug all the Indians living in the apartment because he does the same thing to all the Indians. Looking back if I had enough money I would have sued him. In fact I looked for any NRI organization which could help me. But I really did not find anything. So just like others we just ignored it and eventually moved out after we bought a house.

That I think was the only incidence of ‘racism/profiling’ that I have experienced in 7 years I have been here in the US. I hope it is the last.

So for people moving into apartments, I would suggest that you check the reviews from some reputed websites before moving in. I would also avoid apartments owned by a single landlord. Also talk to fellow Indians if you can.

Go Away!

My 2 year old son is going through a phase right now where he says ‘Go Away’ to anything or anybody he doesn’t want at that moment. This is true for both living and material objects. If he bumps his head on the wall he says ‘Go away Wall. It’s not right’. Obviously we are enjoying every minute of his innocence.

Today I was driving him to his daycare and I was on a freeway. This car in front of me was going really slow (I guess it was the policeman’s curse from yesterday!) and I controlled my road rage and was patiently driving behind it. After a lot of time it gave me way. And as soon as I passed it, My 2 year old turned back, looked at the car and said ‘Go away Red car. It’s not right’. Even though I enjoyed his cuteness, I was surprised and at the same time shocked. I guess we still have a lot of things to teach him.

I used to have the road rage initially when I came here and started driving. But now I have got over it and usually yield to crazy drivers. Anyway it came as a big surprise for me this morning.

It's a 2 way street!

Today a cop car was driving behind me in the morning when I left for work. I guess he was just doing one of his routine routes. Just seeing the cop car behind made me very alert. In fact I was too cautious. I made sure that I came to a complete stop in all the stop signs and I was maintaining proper distance between vehicles, driving at a proper speed etc… I am sure he would have been frustrated when I was cruising at 20 mph on a 25 mph road. But I just wanted to be safe than sorry.

On the hindsight you just feel safe when you see people respecting cops. In fact cops are not paid very well when compared to other jobs just like how it is in India. But they still do their duty conscientiously and do not accept bribes like they do in India. I know I should not generalize and there are good cops even in India. But on a cursory inspection the feeling you get is that cops are corrupt in India. I think it’s true in most cases.

The important point to be noted is that the cops respect their jobs and we respect them. It’s a 2 way street.

Be a Roman

It's Christmas day today. It's probably not going to matter for most non Christian NRI's. I think it should matter to us even if we are not Christians. If we miss out on the festivities celebrated here in US then what are we left with? As far as me and my wife are concerned, all festivals irrespective of the religious significance is mainly for breaking monotony in life. We don't have the opportunity to celebrate Diwali and other good Hindu festivals. So we should try to celebrate Christmas, Halloween etc... as long as we are here. I see most people doing it these days as they don't want their child to be left behind. That's a good sign as people are looking outside their religion.

We should be a roman when we are in Rome. There is nothing wrong with that.

Polite

Some people have this habit of calling a spade a spade. Even though this is required in some circumstances, this could also be an annoying habit if used wrongly. I have seen some people blurting out what they feel not caring about what others feel. Some are really proud to talk that way.

One thing I have noticed after coming here to US is that most people generally tend to be nice to each other. Or at least they 'try' to be nice to each other. They may have other feelings inside them , but when they talk face to face they are usually very careful to make sure that they don’t hurt others feelings. This is true both professionally and also outside work. Some people may not like this ‘fake’ attitude. But in the hindsight, it does not leave bad taste/memories in you/them after you talk with them.

On the other hand if you talk bluntly, you could potentially hurt others feelings and leave bad memories that would potentially linger in their minds for a long time.

Do you agree or disagree with 'faking' politeness?

Credibility!

Some People may think that I may not have too much credibility for writing negative stuff about India since I am a Non Resident Indian. Even I have thought about this.

But in the hindsight, I have this opportunity of looking at things from outside the shell and sometimes the perspective is different when you look at things from outside the shell. You may be able to spot things that are both good and bad which you may not realize if you live amongst it. This blog I feel is an opportunity for me to express it. I have expressed both positive and negative things about India. So I think it's fine.

Do you agree?

Hoist it!

One thing you’ll prominently see when you visit US is the hoisting of national flag. You’ll see it hoisted in almost all the business places and even in some private residences. The flag is always respected and well cared for. This became even more evident after the 9/11 terrorist incidents. Here people feel proud to display their sense of patriotism. This is really nice and some thing other countries can learn.

As long as I was in India the only time I used to see a flag hoisted was during the Independence Day (And in government offices.). No offense to fellow Indians – I don’t see anything wrong in a little display of patriotism. This probably is one of the easiest things to do.

Sweet Surprise!

When I listen to music I mostly concentrate on how the song is composed. It’s the tune that has to be appealing to me. My wife listens to the lyrics in the song. For her both the lyrics and the tune has to be good. I guess we are different in that aspect.

I am one of those who sing loudly when I am amidst my own family. I am too shy to sing in front of friends or strangers or for that matter other family members.

During our early days of our marriage I used to sing songs loud and most of them happened to be songs with romantic lyrics. I guess my favorite composer (AR.Rahman) was composing mostly romantic songs at that time. My wife being a little possessive in nature used to get very upset when I sing a song whose lyrics actually praise some other woman. As time went on she got used to it.

Now that we have been married for 6 years, she now knows that I don’t look deeply into the lyrics of the songs. So she doesn’t mind even if I sing such songs loud now. But it really was a sweet surprise for me the first time.

Be Nice!

We saw this movie ‘Water’ by Deepa Mehta yesterday. It’s one of those typical artsy films that will linger with you for a long time. This film is about the plight of a group of widows who live together in Varanasi, India. It shows how the widows were treated by our society during the pre independence period. This movie ends with a caption that there are still many millions of widows in India who are treated differently.

I don’t think the current situation is as bad as how it is shown in the film. But I agree with the fact that widows still are treated differently by our society. One place where you can glaringly see this disparity is in our temples – our highest place of worship. You can also see how differently they are treated in religious ceremonies, occasions, gatherings etc… They are still being considered bad luck. Thank god (should I?) that we have at least got away with dressing them in white saris.

The most interesting fact about the movie was that the movie was met with severe protest in many parts of India owing to the fact that it was an anti - Hindu movie. Anybody who sees this movie would agree that it wasn’t the intention of the movie to portray Hinduism in a bad sense. It was just saying the truth. Sometimes truth hurts.

As far as I am concerned, all it was trying to convey was a fact that humans should go by what their conscience says and not blindly by how religions preach. I totally agree with the message of the movie. How can we call ourselves cultured and developed if we still adhere to such abominable practices?

Fake charities

I was listening to a program in NPR about the Fake charity organizations that spring up all over the place when a disaster happens somewhere. They were discussing on how these fake charities are so hard to spot and how their names sound almost similar to a popular real charity names.

Another issue with charity is the way money is mishandled after it reaches the destination. They were discussing on how in some tsunami affected countries the money didn’t reach the suffering and how it was embezzled by some big shots of those communities.

It’s so appalling how humans can use somebody else grief for their own profit. Some times humans behave worse than animals.

Lost

Have you wondered how many friends you have had through out your time in life? I was wondering about it. It’s just amazing how many have just come and gone throughout my life. I am partially to blame because of the fact that I am not very good in keeping touch with them. But it’s just amazing the number of faces that come to my mind when I think of it.

I think most of the friends we have are what I call 'impermanent' friends (for a lack of a better word). They are with you during a particular phase of life – School, College, work etc… But once you move on, you lose the commonality you had with them. Once you are physically far away from them, the loss of commonality and the distance makes the friendship go dead. In fact even if you call to talk with them, you’ll be amazed to find out that there are no similar topics for you to talk about. So eventually as times moves on such friendships die.

There are some I would like to call ‘thick’ friends. I think you all know what I mean by ‘thick’ friends.

Now looking back, I wish that I still had contact with some of those 'impermanent' friends.

I care

One of the main reasons why this country (US) looks beautiful is because of the importance given to landscaping here. Here all the individual houses/businesses etc… are required to maintain a proper landscape – Clean and beautiful.

When I first came to US, I used to think just like every other Indian as to why people here are so obsessed with cutting the grass and then watering them and cutting them, over and over again. I used to think that it’s just silly and a waste of time.

But just looking at the results – green landscape, I am convinced that it is not. I am sure people who have been here long enough would accept what I am saying.

I think it's also a way to telling the nature - 'I care'.

Respect

One thing I really like about Hinduism is the fact that it teaches to treat everything – even lifeless objects with respect. Here are a few salient things that a Hindu does as a means of showing respect to other things

1. Anytime we buy something new we keep it in front of god as means of thanking him or we perform religious ceremonies as a means of thanking god for what he gave us.
   
   
2. Anytime we accidentally stomp on something, there is a certain gesture we do to acknowledge that it was wrong.
   
   
3. We pray everything in nature – Sun, moon etc... We are told to treat nature and everything associated with it with respect
   
   
4. We always revere our parents and as a matter of fact anybody older than us.
   
   
5. We have various festive occasions in every calendar year for celebrating and revering both material and immaterial objects.
   

I am sure all other religions also preach such things. After all religion is a medium for enforcing discipline in life. Isn’t it?

Do you have anything to add to this list?

Your ID please!

Do you feel frustrated when some one asks you to show your ID when you use a credit card to buy stuff?

It doesn’t bother me if what I am buying is for a sizable amount. But it really bothers me when somebody is asking for my ID when I am buying something for a very small amount - Say less than 5 bucks.

This happened today in a coffee shop and I was noticing the lady carefully to see if she is doing the same thing to others too. She was working like a robot repeating the same set of questions to everybody in the queue. So apparently she was just doing what she was asked to do. But for that flicker of seconds, I was so mad at the lady.

I have seen a few others react very irately in those circumstances . It’s just funny how we sweat over such small things in life and how quickly our mind judges people before pondering over the facts.

MultiVitamins

I am one of those health nuts who take a multivitamin whenever I feel that I haven’t eaten well. I know some people take it everyday.

But every time I take it I am always unsure as to whether it is really doing good for my body. I just console myself thinking that as long as it does not do anything harmful to me, I’ll take it.

I think more than the adults the kids need it. This is because of their bad eating habits. My son eats a lot of dairy and eats vegetables wherever he has the mood to do so. Since we are vegetarians, I am not sure whether he gets all the necessary minerals and vitamins.

So inevitably we try to give him multivitamins. Thankfully they have those candy coated multivitamins. So I feel satisfied when ever I see him eat one of those. I don’t know whether it works. But it at least gives me a great sense of satisfaction.

The Razor evolution

I ran out of shaving blades today. I remembered that I got a sample of 'Gillette Fusion' in mail. So I wanted to try it out. The first thing I noticed after opening it is the number of blades in it. It's exactly like my wife predicted. My wife predicted last year that we'll have 5 blades this year and her prediction came true. Yay!!

I remember shaving with one blade a few years back. Now the razor companies are adding blades at the rate of 1 blade each year and I am very curious to see where it's all going to end. Another point worth noting is that the cost of these blades increases exponentially with the addition of each blade. I think I should seriously think about getting a stock of P&G soon.

Pop Culture!

I read that coke is going to introduce a new drink called diet coke plus. This is going to be a multivitamin drink. As such it is hard for parents to keep their kids away from carbonated beverages. Now with such a product, it's going to be even harder to make kids stay away from sodas. Every coke fan is going to drink with a content feeling that they are really drinking stuff which is partly good for the body totally ignoring the fact that soda is bad.

I know that are many other drink like that in the market like red bull etc.. But this is special because it promises the same taste as coke.

I just hope that it is priced high to shy away those cash crunched teens at least.

Johnny Bravo!

I have this narcissist tendency of looking at myself in the mirror whenever I see one. My wife calls me 'Johnny Bravo' for doing this. For those who don't know 'Johnny Bravo', it is this cartoon character that is very narcissist and keeps look at him in the mirror even on dire circumstances. There is this funny episode where a monster chases him. But he'll still keep making stops to look at himself in the mirror whenever he sees one.

I guess most men do this. I have observed that most men are very shy to look at mirrors when somebody else is around. That includes me too. In public restrooms, I have seen people instantly shying away from the mirror as soon as somebody walks in. You can almost feel that they were looking at themselves in the mirror just before you walked in.

I guess men think that it is effeminate to look at them in the mirror. But I don’t think that it is true with most women. Or is it?

What do you think?

Let me in

Have you wondered how many online accounts you have created in the last few years? I must have created at least 20+. The difficult part in this is remembering the user name and password for each and every account.

Each account seems to have a different format for login and password. So I must have at least 5+ different kinds of login ids and many different passwords. Now it’s reached a point that I have forgotten a few of them.

Recently many financial institution websites have started creating a second layer of protection. They ask you as many as 3 questions and ask you to remember the answers for them if you are not logging from a specific computer.So it makes it even more confusing.

The only viable solution I think is getting a biometric reader. This is getting out of hand.

Interesting

This is very interesting. No wonder people say that lots of household in the US are very unhappy.

In-Sanity

There is a lot of emphasis given to sanitation here in the US.
One thing I have observed in India is that most people do tend to keep their houses clean. But after cleaning the house, they just throw the crap on the road. We seem to be more worried about keeping our house clean and not the environment around us. It’s nothing but indifference to your society and neighbors.

There is no excuse for that.

Why we stay back?

Have you noticed that our body actually starts losing its defense mechanism after we have been here long enough in the US? We used to be unaffected by mosquito bites, drinking impure water etc... till we were in India. But once we come here and get used to the conditions here long enough, we seem to be losing the defense mechanism our body had. I have seen lot of people complain about that. Once our body gets used to luxury it just cannot seem to take even a slightest discomfort.

This probably is the main reason why Indians who come here don’t want to leave. This is especially true if they have a kid. I think it’s really painful for a parent to see their kid go through what they went through especially when they have everything here.

Of course there is always an argument that our culture is better etc... But you know what - Not many are going back. If they go, most of them end up coming back.

It's a nice topic for argument. But if you do a reality check, you'll see that most really do end up staying back.

But who knows? Things might change in the future.

SSN

India is known to produce software programmers dime a dozen. But it feels odd that even with so much resources, India still doesn’t have a tracking system for its citizens. I mean a concept similar to Social security number here in the US. The whole system here in the US works on SSN and as we all know it is very successful and useful. Why isn’t the Indian government thinking of it? Is it a monetary constraint or is there any other reason i am not aware of?

I have always wondered about this.

Sleepover

This is a practice that exists here in the US where a kid goes and spends a night with his/her friend in their house. This practice is fine till they are up to a certain age. When the child reaches a certain age, this becomes a very worrying thing for parents due to obvious reasons. Even though I personally haven’t experienced it yet, I have seen many Indian parents very concerned about this.

But personally I think people should not be a pushover when somebody does not feel like sending their child over. I think it's a natural parental instinct to be protective and be afraid of their child's well being.

All parents are different and one should respect others feelings.

Smoking Guns!

One thing that surprised me when I first came here to US is the number of women who smoke. I guess you can call it a culture shock. As long as I have been in India I haven't seen a single woman smoke. I am hearing that things are changing now for the bad.

Before I type further let me make one thing clear -
Smoking is bad irrespective of the gender. I am totally for all out abolition of smoking.

Now coming to the point, one thing that really appalled me is the fact that some women smoke even after they get pregnant. They just carry on with their life as if nothing has changed and they refuse to change themselves.

Those women really bug me. Don’t they know that they are harming the innocent child inside them? These are woman without any remorse or guilt.

If I had the power I wouldn't mind passing a regulation to punish those pregnant woman who smoke.

Do you argue?

1. Some argue till their argument is accepted. They cannot face the fact they could be wrong.

2. Some argue up to a certain point and then they give up either because they are tired or because they feel that the argument is not worth it or they sense the other person is not going to give up.

3. Some argue just for the sake of arguing even if they have nothing to back up their argument.

4. Some don't like to argue. They just accept whatever the other person says even though they might have their own opinion.

5. Some don't like to argue. They just accept whatever the other person says because they just don’t know what do say back.

6. For some the mere fact that somebody is disputing their claim is unacceptable. They don't even argue. They might turn hostile.

What kind of a person are you?

Class apart!

One thing I love here in the US is the fact that everyone regardless of their profession is treated equal and everyone can afford simple luxuries. I am not saying it’s a perfect country. But it is much better than many developing countries.

That is not the same case back home in India. There is a huge gap between the middle class and lower class. That gap seems to be increasing in this free economy because the middle class keeps moving higher and higher and the lower class still remains the same.

In India People are graded depending on how much they earn. Even within the same profession there could be discontent among people based on what kind of work they do.So when that happens this gap becomes even more transparent in the society.

In fact I was reading an article about the US economy where an analyst claimed that the gap between the middle class and lower class is widening here.

I was thinking that analyst probably hasn't been to some developing countries.

Fear of Flying

I saw an ad yesterday where they show everybody staring at a man boarding an airplane wearing a parachute and all other safety accessories. It was funny commercial.

1. Haven’t we all wondered while boarding an airplane as to whether it is really worth listening to all the safety instructions?

2. Haven't we all wondered why the floating device, parachutes etc... are kept in inaccessible places (under the seat or latches in an inaccessible place)?

3. Haven't we all wondered as to whether we'll even have time to react when something goes bad?

4. I read that most of the people who know to swim have the confidence that they can swim to safety if the planes fall into the water. On the other hand people who don't know to swim have the utmost fear when the plane is flying over water.

I don't know whether all of you have this fear. But I sure do feel queasy about all these things every time I board a plane.

So thinking about the ad, I don't blame the man. If the society accepts, I wouldn't mind doing the same thing.

How about you?

Seinfeld – Gandhi

I was watching one of the Seinfeld episodes yesterday wherein Jerry, George and Elaine sign up for volunteer work. I don't know what Seinfeld writers have against Gandhi. There are quite a few negative references to Gandhi in that episode. There is one where they make fun of him as being involved in a relationship with a woman here in US. Seinfeld does cross a fine line sometimes. But they somehow got away with it.

Why Gandhi? That bugged me a lot.

Coincidence?

One of my friends mother passed away recently. He said that he had this uneasy feeling in him the day before his mother’s death and he knew that he was going to get the bad news soon. This is not the first instance I have heard of such a thing. I have heard a lot of people say that they some how knew that something was going to happen to their closest kin even before it happened. In fact I have also read stories about how the dead person’s spirit was seen by somebody far off just at the exact time of death as if it had come to bid farewell to him.

When my son got hurt once, we had to call the paramedics. The paramedics after examining my boy asked us how we felt about the situation. He said that the parents usually sense if something is seriously wrong with the child and it is almost always correct.

I think even if our closest kin lives physically distance apart, spiritually we co exist. This might seem like a weird concept. But how do you explain these strange coincidences?

Why do we do it?

In Hinduism we do so many things as a way to please god without knowing the meaning of things behind it. Let me quote a few examples

1. Most of the prayers are in a language we do not now. Yet most of us pray without knowing the meaning of it.

2. There are lots of activities we perform in front of a deity. All have them have symbolic meaning and most of us do not know what it is. We just do it the same way like we have seen others do it

3. Most of us do not know why god is in different shapes and forms like we have. We just accept as is and pray in front of it

These are just a list of few things. I understand it is mostly because of our own ignorance. We learn things from our parents and they learnt it from their parents and certain formalities and beliefs get passed through generations. I know for sure that there are good reasons behind every thing we do. But very few people know about it.

In fact as an NRI when people here ask us questions like why we pray cow/elephants etc it is really embarrassing because most of us really do not know why we do (I know that even if we explain they might still make fun of us. But at least we can be happy that we tried to explain it to them). The situation is even more embarrassing when our own kids start asking questions.

When I was young, I remember asking the meaning of a few things we do and I remember one of the Hindu scholar (Shastri / Pandit) just telling me that I am asking questions way beyond my age. That pretty much killed my enthusiasm.

But with the advent of internet, inquisitive minds can get most of the answers they want.

It's just a piece of paper!

At one point of time government backed every dollar printed with a certain amount of gold bullion. So Dollar really did have value at one time. This was also true for some other currencies.But sometime after 1970 the government stopped doing it. So your dollar really is not worth anything.The only reason currency works right now is because people actually think it is valuable and are ready to exchange it for all commodities.

Funny isn't it?

Hypocrites!

I was walking in a mall and saw sign board for ‘caring for doves’ campaign. The people behind the placard I am sure were non vegetarians.

What I don’t understand is how can people be so hypocritical?

I remember an episode in Seinfeld where they show Elaine as an ‘anti fur’ activist. She would be questioning everybody who wears fur. One of them would question her back asking ‘Are you a vegetarian? If not don't even talk about it.’ and she would be stumped.

I am not saying that non vegetarians should not stand for any cause protecting animals or birds.But won’t they feel hypocritical when they do such things?

Herbal Remedies

Most kids here in US often gets sick with cold and cough during winter. We always rely on known cold medicines like Tylenol etc… to comfort the child.

But back home in India, There are certain herbal remedies that we use. It’s something we have been using for many generations. But here in US we are afraid to use it because the AMA (American Medical Association) does not recommend any herbal remedies.

It is true that certain herbal remedies surely do help for some minor ailments. But the only factor that is preventing us from using it is the fear factor. If it does have some side effect and if we have to take our child in to the doctor – ‘What do we tell the doctor?’ This is the only reason why we don’t use it.

Meanwhile when our parents come here and see their grandkids suffer, they just can’t take the fact that we are not doing the some things they did to us when we were a child.

Whenever I try to explain the reason to them they always ask me

‘Aren’t you still alive and healthy?’

Beats me. I am not sure how to answer this.

CD

I was listening to my favorite CD on the way back from a birthday party in my car and it suddenly started skipping tracks. I am sure all of you have encountered the same problem.

Why can't they make CD's and DVD's durable? Cassettes were very durable and lasted for a long time.You need somebody like my 2 year old to wreck it. Floppy discs were also very durable. On the other hand CD's/DVD's are very sensitive. They need a lot of care. These days I take a back up of any cd as soon as I get it because no matter how well I care for it ,somehow it gets scratched. That makes me really mad.

Indian Ads!

One thing that I really liked after I came to US is the nutritional value label in all the consumer products. I was totally naive about nutrition and recommendations till I came here.

That’s when I wished we had the same thing back home. It really pains me to see some Indian ads where they make atrocious claims about their product. As an example I have seen some ads where they claim that their oil is really good for health. There is another ad where they claim that their oil can be used multiple times for heating since it doesn’t leave much residue like their competitor. People really do believe in those ads and I have seen my mother make a claim that she has switched to a particular kind of oil because it is good for you. No wonder we have a high rate of heart disease.

I hope things change and we begin to see nutrition values in Indian products. I am big believer of the fact that we should eat everything in moderation. These labels really help us keep track of what we get daily and what we don't. Now with western values slowly seeping into Indian culture, this is something we can really use.

Walmart in India!

So Walmart is officially in India now. The Indian Left has predictably started making noise. I suspect a lot of article must have already come out about the imminent death of the small Indian shopkeeper. They will write about how Walmart got a “backdoor entry” into India.

But is this tie-up between Walmart and Bharti a convenient arrangement to scale the policy barriers? Or is it something more?

We have seen Walmart has been the reason for many papa and mama businesses to close in US. Is that possible in India? I am sure they will offer very competitive prices thereby forcing other traders to reduce their margins just like they do here.

Is that a good thing for India? Will Indian government slowly turn into a government run by corporation and lobbyists?

or am I over reacting just like others?

All you have to do is ask

There are various times in my life where I have been very shy to ask for things. I knew I wanted it but always felt shy to ask. Even if somebody asked me whether I wanted it I still used to say ’NO'.

This truly is a bad quality to possess. Always ask what you want and you'll see better results. This quality will also make you a better negotiator. Without this you'll end up accepting what comes to you even if you don't want it.

A good manager always conveys what he wants very clearly. An over worked employee doesn’t express his dislikes and ends up working overtime.

I understand this is a fairly obvious observation. But some things make sense only when somebody points it to us.

Interpretation

There are quite a few differences in the way Indians interpret some English words/phrases and how Americans interpret it. Here are few differences that i have observed

Dress - in US this word is strictly used for 'formal' attire. In India it is used for both formal and casual attire

Pretty good - in US this means 'not exceptional'. In India it is used sometimes to mean that it 'VERY' good.

Bath - in US this mean actual bath in a tub. In India it is used for both bath and shower.

Affair - in US Having a relationship with your wife not knowing it In India general relationship
between a boy and girl before marriage

Freak out - Scared in America, Having fun in India

Scooter – This is what kids ride in America. This is what adults ride in India

Bike - For Cycle in America, is for a motorized two wheeler in India

Gang- 'group of thugs' in US, generally refers to a 'group' in India.

I am sure there are lots more. Just type it in if you can think of others.

Funny incident -

When I went to give my marriage invitation to one of my American friend, he asked me how I and my wife met and how I knew her?
I replied to him 'We met in India and have been having an affair for almost 3 years'. He gave me a weird look. I think he realized what I meant. But looking back it sure was funny.

90-10 Rule

I got this email from one of my friends about the 90-10 rule by Stephen Covey. I just felt that I should share it with you guys.

According to Stephen Covey '10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.'

He quoted the following example

In the morning you are getting ready for work. Just when you are ready to eat your breakfast your child spills his/her breakfast all over you.

You could react in 2 ways.

1. Become angry. Scold the kid. So the child now starts crying and you get more frustrated. It’s a chain reaction and both you and your family leave the house in an unpleasant manner. Then you think about what happened for the rest of the day, feel sorry for what you did.

2. Just clean up the mess, change your clothes and leave home with a happy face. Now everybody is happy.

So from the above example you can see that 90% of what happens to you is decided by you. Try following it. For all those human soul filled with anger and rage, just keep this in mind and you'll see a big change in how your day goes.

This does not mean that you should not speak out when it is necessary. Just try using it in those situations where it seems apt.

What's wrong with you people?

One thing that really bugs me is the fact that some people don't even have a common courtesy of smiling back when I smile at them. They usually give a stiff look or just look down and walk away.

I know it's not just me. I have heard this complaint from others too.

Funny!

Indian government recently banned reptiles in public places (Don’t they have other things to worry about?).

Anyway i saw this funny clip on TV where they were showing the snake charmers letting the cobras loose on a busy street as a means of protesting against the ban.

It was really funny to watch the video clip. I had a hearty laugh. On the other hand my 2 year old was very excited to see the snakes.

Dark side!

I have met some people who can only see the negative side of things. They always talk about the negative aspect of others. They constantly look for things that could be wrong in others.

Here are a few reasons why i think they are like that.

1. They are not satisfied with their lives
Or
2. They are Jealous of others
Or
3. They derive happiness by hurting others feelings and seeing them suffer.

What these people have to realize is that they hurt themselves more than hurting others. They should realize that nobody is going to like them or respect them no matter what good they do. People always remember the hurt inflicted by you more than the good done by you.

What do you think?

To spend or not to spend!

This question always pops up in my head - Should I spend what I have today or save a lot for tomorrow?

Sometimes I feel that I should enjoy whatever I have today because tomorrow is uncertain. What is the use saving a lot of money and having millions and millions of dollars at the age of 60 when we are weak and can't really do anything? We are young, fabulous and energetic now. Why not enjoy when you can?

On the other hand I learn a lot of stuff in papers, magazines, internet etc. where they always advise you to save as much as possible so that you can have a good retirement. I completely understand that it makes sense because of inflation, health care cost etc... But it just feels I am missing something by restraining myself so much.

It just feels like one of those moments on TV where they show your evil and good self arguing with each other.

Do you feel the same way?

China and Dollar !

United States is perceived to be the richest country in the world. But in reality US is the biggest debtor nation in the world. Do you know who US is indebted to? What many consider to be a Third World country: China.

Did you know that US borrows a lot of money from china to buy goods from china. It's like going to a grocery store and borrowing money from them to buy groceries. The way world monetary system works is funny .

China sends US lots of goods like computers,chips,clothing etc.. In turn US pays china with dollars. Since China can't spend all the dollars at home, they lend it back to US.

Somehow it makes sense for financial and banking analysts.

Nothing special about it!

I just removed all the stickers and labels in my new Dockers this morning. The first thing that caught my eye was the label 'Made in India'.

Back in my childhood days I used to get excited whenever I get presents from someone in the US. But now the world has changed so much that most of the things that I find here in US are actually made in India or China or other developing country. So there is nothing special about it anymore.

Memories!

My wife strongly believes in the fact that life should be nothing but good memories. So we try hard to create as much good memories as possible. She always says that living in a big house or driving a big car etc.. does not mean anything because if one of us were to leave this world, the only thing other person would have are good memories.

We don't know what's going to happen to us next minute. Also it is not easy to satisfy and impress everyone around you. So we should at least try to be good with our nearest and dearest family.

What do you think?

Men and Electronics!

I went on a shopping spree on Black Friday. Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving.It's called 'Black' Friday because the retailers lose a lot of money by seriously marking down the price of retail. Electronics are the hot commodity during black Friday.

For the record i went to Officemax 3 times,twice to circuit city and once to bestbuy,office depot and compusa. I even bought an electronic label maker!! Where in the world am i going to use a label maker?
As i type this, the day is not over yet.

Men are attracted to electronics like an iron towards a magnet.

I very badly wanted to buy a few things today even though i know that i don't need it. I had to have it. I sometimes feel like men never mature. When we were young we always wanted toys. That instinct doesn't go away even after we grow up.On the other had women hate men buying buying electronics as much as men love electronics.

Wives are like the president. We are like the senate and house. We decide what to do. We debate so much within ourselves, do a lot of research on the internet to find out the best deal and pass the bill to our wife. But they have the ultimate Veto power!

Where is 'GOD' in all this?

I was listening to National Public radio(NPR) yesterday where they were talking about genocides that happened in Sudan and how it is now slowly moving to Chad. Literally millions and millions of people are getting killed in those genocides.I have been hearing about these genocides for almost 3-4 years now.

I don't expect any one nation to take care of the issue.But no nation seems to be effectively standing up to the cause. This is horrible.

One thing i don't understand is - What is UN doing? That was the whole purpose why UN was formed. I am hearing that their hands are pretty much tied by the sudanese goverment and there is nothing they can do about it. If UN doesen't have the power to control these horrible crimes who else can?

It is a proven and documented fact that these are true incidents and the magnitude of the crime commited is tantamount to the holocaust. If holocaust received so much attention, why not these genocides?

It really is an unfair world where rich thrives and the poor gets beaten down.

Now where is 'GOD' in all this?

FJ cruiser

FJ cruiser

Did you guys see the new FJ cruiser? I love it.I have been making up my mind that my next car is going to be a 2 year old car.I want to be financially savvy. But FJ is making me think twice. I really love the yellow one. Plus it's from toyota. So you know it's gonna work hard for a long time.

Plasma/LCD Craze!

Plasma/LCD TV's seem to be the craze this thanksgiving. Prices have gone down so much in the last few years.I bought one a year back mainly for watching world cup soccer in HD. It truly is a great viewing experience.

My 32 inch tube TV now looks like a piece of crap.But i am still keeping it. I am sure when my son grows up he'll have a big laugh looking at our old tube TV. I and my wife have watched a lot of crap in that. So this one is going to be with us in the basement just for the memories.

Early Days!

I was born in one of the south Indian cities. We were a lower middle class family at that time.My father worked really hard to make ends meet.
Here are some things I remember in my first 4-5 years of my life.

I remember living in a one room house till i was 4 or 5.

The room used to have a table fan, a stove to cook, a radio and mat to sleep. Pretty much that's it.I used to sleep in a swing like thingy made from a saree (Traditional Indian woman's attire).

I remember being very scared of the stove. Whenever my mom tried to light it up, i remember getting scared. In fact even now I am scared. Those kerosene stoves are very unsafe. Another thing I used to be scared of is the pressure cooker.

There used to be 4 or 5 families living close by in the same community. I remember that we all shared the same restroom (Gross!)

My house was near a temple.

I remember a woman committing suicide in the house opposite to us.

Funny incident - I know that after that suicide happened all the families were scared to go to the restroom when it was dark. They all thought that the ghost of the woman who committed suicide is going around. In fact some of them even claimed that they saw the ghost walking around. So because of that I used to be very scared when it got dark.

My best friend who was the same age as me used to go out early in the morning with his father. I remember coming out everyday to say 'hi' to him.

My father used to get me a candy everyday after work. I always wished that he would get me a 'cadbury eclairs' candy. So I used to eagerly wait for his arrival.

My mom loves music and i remember that she turns on the radio every day in the morning and night and sing along with it. I guess that's what got me interested in music.

When i first started school, i remember coming out of the classroom and crying and waving goodbye to my parents.

I also used to get excited whenever I see my parents in the evening. We could clearly see the school entrance from my class room. When my mom comes to pick me up, she used to stand outside till the school is over. I always used to wonder why she doesn’t just come in and pick me up.

My grand father used to take me to a railway track to show me a train. I think there was just one train which used to cross that way everyday and it was made sure that i see that train.

I remember that whenever my parents didn't buy me something I wanted, I used to just lie down on the road and refused to get up.

Why can't I?

Why can't I strike a good conversation with any body? I was told by the daycare provider today that my son is a very good friend to one of the kid there and they said it right in front of the kid’s parents. I smiled at the day care provider, said bye to my son and walked off.

Then in the car while I was driving back, I was thinking what all I could have said to his parents. I could have had a good friendly conversation with his parents. At least I could have smiled at them. I am such an introvert.

Zune

Microsoft released its Zune mp3 player last week amidst all negative reviews. I looked at it and it looks very ordinary. It is said to have capabilities like short range wireless File sharing . This feature obviously is targeted towards the teens and their endless quench for download. Other than that it is an heavy IPOD with a wide screen capability. In fact Steve Jobs would have smirked when he saw it for the first time.

Criticisms behind, when you look back X box started out the same way. Ps2 and Nintendo were so popular when X box first hit the market. I have the old x box and i still haven't figured out how to play with it. For the record It's my limitation and not an X box design flaw. I think i don't have enough patience to figure out how to play those games. So i pretty much use it as a DVD player.

Now X box 360 has a lion’s share of the gamers market. All these in 3+ years. MSFT definitely has enough money to penetrate any market. They don't seem to care much about their shareholders. So they better do something with all the cash they have been holding off to make Zune more appealing to consumers.

I hope Mr.Softy has something up his sleeve and this first release is just for the mad holiday shoppers. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I am a big MSFT fan. Lots of people just can't digest their success. I on the other hand love all their products. Their software concentrates a lot on user experience which i find seriously lacking in other products.

On a side note - Those MAC ads ( http://www.apple.com/getamac/ads/ ) are very funny. Don't you think?

Kramer!

Kramer played by Michael Richards is unquestionably one of the most liked characters in Jerry Seinfeld. We all laugh hard whenever he does one his antics on the screen. He truly is a good actor.

It came as a real shock for me to see his video yesterday where he hurled racial epithets on his hecklers during a stand up. Now when i see Kramer in Seinfeld, I am getting reminded of what he did yesterday and that is really killing the fun in Seinfeld.

I just hope my mind gets over it soon and I am able to watch Seinfeld just like i used to. I really love that sitcom. It is no doubt the most funniest sitcom in American History.

I personally have no respect for Michael after what i saw yesterday.But i just love that Kramer fellow!

GRE/Word list

I suddenly remembered about my college days when i used to read for GRE exams. For those who don't know, GRE is a mandatory exam for getting an admission in US universities. One of the things you need to do for this exam is to memorize the entire english dictionary. I and my room mates used to be so passionate about the word lists that we would often quiz each other with different words.

During those days whenever i write a letter to my parents (I am not usually someone who is interested in writing letters. But during those days i just wanted to do it because i wanted to use those words somehow.), i used to use all kinds of ridiculous words like bamboozled,gab,coquet etc.. in my letter.

Now days whenever I hear such words anywhere , I just think of my past and smile. My wife sometimes asks me the meaning of some words that she hears somewhere and i just smile back. She knows that I know the meaning of the word. But i don't think she knows why i smile back. I usually reply that I don't know (I don't know why i do that!!).

Anyway the point is why do we have to learn all those words to get through GRE? Most people here speak English in a way that is convenient for them. I am not saying that's not right. Language is just a means of communication. As long as it conveys what you want to say, that's good enough for me. Even in professional writing, i vouch for writing in clear and simple English.

I think it would have made a lot of sense if we had just studied all the American slang’s. We could at least understand what people here are trying to say when they use their slang’s. Just kidding!

I did not get a chance to write a GRE exam. But looking back if I could get hold of one of those letters I wrote to my parents, I am sure to laugh out loud.

CQ+PQ > IQ

I was listening to CNN other day where they were talking with the author of 'Flat World'. I don’t remember his name. Flat world is the world without borders because of internet, free trade, immigration etc...

He was putting forth the point that in this flat world you do not need IQ to succeed in life.
With CQ = creativity quotient and PQ = passion quotient you can be very successful even if you don't have a great IQ. I think by IQ he meant formal education/training etc...

It does sound true when we look at the world around us . Look at all the founders of successful companies these days. One common trait you'll notice are these are young people who are very innovative / creative (CQ) in their ideas and showed great passion towards what they were doing. Creators of Google and youtube etc...did have all those two traits which made them immensely successful.

Personally I would also add a 'LQ' - Luck quotient to the equation. Because I don't think Larry Page and Sergey Brin really dreamed that they would be this successful (Google shares touched $500 for the first time today!).

Faces and Tacos

I was standing in line at Qdoba's Mexican grill for 20 minutes (Boy I must really like them!). I just happened to look at many different faces standing in line in front of me. How many different ethnicities? This country really is very diverse.

It got me thinking. I have thought about this a lot of times before. How come people from different regions have unique facial identity? I can identify an Indian/Chinese Japanese etc. just by looking at their faces. What gives them that unique facial structure?

Is it influenced by the language we speak (activating various group of facial muscles often depending on the language)? Of course genetics does play a huge part. Then it got me thinking.
But I can most likely differentiate between an Indian who is brought up here in US and an Indian who grew up in India just by their looking at their face. So I do think that language we speak does play a good role in establishing a facial structure.

Excuse me if you think this post is a real waste of your time. I didn’t know what else to think when I standing in a queue for that long. It wasn’t a waste of time for me as I ended up eating a real spicy taco salad after 20 minutes of wait.

Education in US

For a guy who grew up in a developing country, education was my highest priority during my teens. In fact in most developing countries if you don't do well in your high school, your future is pretty much bleak. You have to work hard and earn good grades in high school. There is no other option.

After coming here to US, I was amazed with the number of different options available to each and every kid. It's up to the kids and their parents to choose the right way. Of course you still need to work hard (or have a lot of money!) if you want to get into Ivy League schools. But for an average student, there are still lots of avenues.

Even in spite of all these opportunities there are many who don't make it to college. That's sad.

But here in the US you can still make amends and go to college even if you realize it much later in life. Sadly there are very few such options back home.

Isn't that great about America?

Sports!

One thing i notice a lot when the people talk about their kids here in the US is their emphasis on sports. People here seem to be very proud when their kid becomes a sports star. On the other hand a kid who shines in academics is deemed 'Uncool' and labelled a 'geek'. That pretty much is the culture here. I don't understand why? There is a very small probability for a kid to become a professional sports star. There is a much higher probability for 'geeks' to become very successful later in life. Can't the parents just do an introspection of their own life and see what has taken them this far- Sports or academics?

I am not saying that people should totally shun sports. If he/she really has true potential, go ahead and encourage by all means. For a mediocre performer, I think academics is the way to go.

What do you think?

Dollar Cost Averaging

For those of you who don't know what DCA is

http://www.investopedia.com/terms/d/dollarcostaveraging.asp

I have always heard from many analysts that DCA is a good way for long term investment because you capture both the high's and low's as you invest.I think this idea is being propagated because of the fact that people in US do not have the saving mentality and it is just to force them to save.

But isn't it common sense that it makes more sense to just buy during the dips rather than ALL the time during a prticular year? I understand that it is tough to spot a bottom of a market. But still wouldn't it just make sense that you invest everytime the market dips x% even if you are just going to invest in indexes.

I am not a financial expert by any means. But personally i have seen this effective.Just have a game plan on how much to invest in what index when a market dips every X% or so and keep doing it.Try it out. It seems much effective than DCA.

Of course some indexes have a much higher standard deviation than others.e.g Emerging market indexes fluctuate more than a US large cap index. So adjust your percentages accordingly.

I have seen lots of articles trying to prove that DCA is not very effective.I totally agree with that. But for us working class who invest in 401k thru' work, our only option is DCA. We can probably work around that by increasing the % when the market is in downturn and just have a min % to get our company match other times.

What do u think?

Anger!

Anger i always thought was genetically coded in you.I have seen people who get angry for no reason or for a very trivial reason. I understand that it can be controlled but i am always under the impression that your genetic trait shows it's ugly head first even before you realize.

I was watching a program in CNN yesterday where they said that even if it is genetically passed on , it is not something that cannot be controlled. They said that it is same as anything else that is genetically passed on like obesity,diabetes etc.. The argument was that if obesity,diabetes etc.. can be controlled by exercise etc..then why not anger? The program was about the effect of meditation in one's life.

I do realize that it is very tough to control your mind.But the argument does make sense. Doesen't it?

Over Protective

Today we took our son to Chuckie Cheese.It is a play arena for kids. We follow our son around wherever he goes to play . We are kind of over protective about him.
As my son was playing today with a ball, some other kid took his ball away and started playing with it. More than our son getting upset, his mom got upset. She wasn't upset with the little kid but with his parents who just let go not bothering about what he is doing.
Looking at it from other parents perspective, maybe they think that the kid should just learn to survive by himself.
So i am not sure whether being over protective of our kid is right or not?

Good Music Early in the morning

I started my day today listening to a good piece of music. That totally transformed my whole day. I was happy throughout the day.I am always amazed whenever i am listening to a good piece of music. How can some music composers be so creative?

I am a software programmer by profession. I work on Logic and reasoning. But music is a random thought. It's a gift from god. No amount of music practice can make you a good creator. You have to innately have that gift in you to actually 'CREATE' music.

What do you think?