Sweetie, This is your first time!

I overheard this conversation while I was having lunch with my son in Ihop. A young waitress was describing about her wedding preparations to an old couple. She was describing how stressful the whole process is and how much time it’s taking out of her day. The couple who was listening to all of this quickly remarked ‘Sweetie, This is your first. The first one is always stressful’. To that the waitress replied ‘Yeah. I know. That’s what I have heard.’
How long is that marriage going to last????

This is not the first time I am hearing the exact same conversation. A Real culture Shock!

Celebrating mediocrity

Celebrating mediocrity is a part of American culture. Here People tend to celebrate anything that would be deemed ‘silly’ in other cultures. As an example, here in school, they celebrate graduation for moving from one grade to other. So if you are moving from 1st to 2nd grade, they celebrate it as a big thing. Parents, grandparents etc. attend such ceremony and make it a big thing.

Lately I have been wondering whether it is a good thing to do. Is it good to celebrate mediocre achievements? Would that leave a contented child even though he/she is capable of achieving more? Or will it instill a lot of confidence in the child’s mind?

My wife always says that a little encouragement to the child will make him go a long way. I accept that. But at the same time, wouldn’t even a small failure affect him immensely when such things should be just brushed away? I personally feel that there should be a good balance in celebrating mediocrity. But where the balance lies is something hard to figure out.

What do you think?

Humidity and Smoke is a bad combination

People here in US are crazy about going in an open car. I was going out with my friend here the other day and he rolled down all the windows of his car while traveling in a freeway. Not only did it make a lot of noise, but it felt like the dust was blowing all over my face. After the ride, I kind of felt dirty.

That reminded me of my days in India, when I would travel in a motorcycle with my friend to work. If I don’t wear a helmet, I can be assured that I can take a layer of carbon out of my face. Humidity and Smoke is a bad combination. In India you have no other choice but to take a shower every time you go out and come back home. That’s why I have always hated traveling in open. Here in US, even though the pollution is well controlled, I guess I just couldn't redeem myself from my past experiences.

Directions

When I first came to US, one thing I really found it difficult to follow is the directions that people give. In India people usually direct by asking to ‘go right, take left’ etc. But here in US when I first stopped in a gas station to ask for directions, he told me something like ‘go south, take east and then go west’. I had no idea which way was east or west. But now after 7+ years I am getting comfortable with this east, west, north, south directions. But it certainly was quite confusing for me initially. Even now sometimes I have to map in my mind that ‘Facing North, east is my Right Hand Side and west in my Left Hand Side’.

Superficial

Most people must have read about Arun Nayar – Liz Hurley wedding and how grand they are. Also most of you must have heard about Lakshmi Mittal’s daughters wedding and many other Indian big shot weddings. One thing I don’t understand is why are Indians so obsessed with extravagant weddings?

One thing I have observed with most of my fellow Indians is that, they are not shy to display how opulent they are to the whole society. People wear these big gold ornaments; celebrate opulent weddings etc. just to show the society that they are rich. What is even more pathetic is that sometimes people, who are not really rich, spend beyond their means just to show the society that they are no less compared to others.

We talk about how superficial western society is. On the other hand we do the same thing.

I really don’t understand what people gain by showing off their opulence and by being so superficial?

Students??

I was reminiscing my years as a student here in the US. It was mainly because of the fact that I heard a presentation from my University’s chair today, who is now the president of the company I work for.

One thing startling for me when I first started my masters here in the US is the fact that most of my fellow students in class were old folks. Most of them were over 40 and it really surprised me that people here in US go to school even at that age. That is something unheard of in India. I haven’t seen any uncle or aunt going to school after their early years.

Corporate America is a bit severe sometimes. If you don’t keep yourself updated with latest skills, you could be left behind. Of course it does do it part of helping employees, by providing incentives to learn new things. Most companies reimburse for courses we learn through school. That is one of the inspiring reasons for people to go to school even after they age. In fact that’s what motivated me to do my masters.

But it really was a surprise for me the first time when I attended school.

Do u want to be a Passive or active smoker?

I personally think that the Non smoking sections in most restaurants in US are a joke. My colleagues took me to TGIF today for my birthday lunch and we all sat in the ‘Non Smoking’ section. Even though I was apparently in a non smoking area, I can smell smoke very obviously. The only thing separating non smoking and smoking area was a glass screen on one side. I am not sure how they believe that smoke cannot get through the front entrance of the smoking section.

There is one Chinese restaurant nearby where they just have a curtain between smoking and non smoking area. That too the curtain doesn’t cover the entire height of the room. It looks more like a shower curtain.

I think restaurants like these should classify their seating section as ‘active’ or ‘passive’ smoking section instead of ‘smoking’ and ‘non-smoking’ section. Don’t you think that would be appropriate?

I just hope that government bans smoking in public places in US like they did in India. Indian government really deserves applause for passing that legislation.

Home Improvement skills

Most men and women here in US have decent home renovation skills. I have lots of colleagues who work with me who have completely built their basement or remodeled a room in their house by themselves. One of the main reasons for it is because the labor cost here in the US is very high. Another reason is that there is a lot of help available through the home improvement stores if you are really interested. They offer a lot of free classes to teach you how to do it. So people in middle/lower class generally tend to do things by themselves just to save some money.

Apart from housing stuff, even big furniture, toys etc. are usually sold unassembled here in US. So you have to assemble it all by yourself. This is one thing I found it particularly tough when I initially came. The only instrument I have used in India is a screw driver. I really haven’t assembled anything before. When I initially came, I bought some furniture and it came with assembling instructions. I found it really tough to assemble it. Even after assembling it I wasn’t completely satisfied. I go through this all the time even now because of all the toys I buy for my son.

But that’s the way of life here. Of course you can pay big bucks and get it assembled. But if you are like me, beginning your life here in US directly coming from India, you’ll definitely go through this. In fact this is one of the topics every Indian who comes to US afresh whines about.

Oscar Nominations

There is always this buzz when Oscar nominations are announced. The nominations were announced today and none of the Indian movies were included as expected.

But the real question to ask is – Should Indian Film industries really care about it? We always hold our standards against the western movies when our culture and emotions are totally different than the western culture. The feel of Indian movies is totally different and I am not sure if the westerners could comprehend the emotions behind it. Leave alone all the crappy movies that come out each year. Even the good ones that seem very well done to us may not be felt the same way by the westerners.

Take the movie ‘Lagaan’ for instance which went all the way to the final stages. Most people don’t understand cricket and I don’t know if they could get the same feel as we get when we watch the movie. I have been here for quite some time and even now I don’t get the same level excitement that I get in cricket when I watch basketball or baseball.

Another reason could be the fact that dance and song sequences are always a part of every Indian movie even if it is not a musical. We are always very used to seeing movies that way that a movie without song and dance would seem very boring for us. On the other hand songs included in a non musical film could be a total shocker for a westerner watching a movie. Not that this is bad or good. I am just trying to show how different our taste is compared to a westerner.

I guess it is nice to get recognized outside India. But I don’t think the industry should be utterly disappointed if they don’t make it in the Oscars.

What do you think?

Retail Return Policies

One thing that really impressed me when I first came to US was the return policies in the stores here. Most stores allow you to return the products for up to 30 days as long as you have the receipt. This allows customers to buy the products with complete confidence and peace of mind. You can always be sure that you can return it when you are not satisfied.

This was unheard of as long as I was in India. Things may have changed now. I don’t know. But it used to be quite the opposite a few years back.

In fact the shop keepers used to be very rude to you when you try to return something back to them even if it is for legitimate reason. I have had a few personal experiences on my own. I remember trying to return a defective Iron box a few days after I bought it. The retailer placed the onus on the manufacturer and said that he would send it back to the manufacturer for repair and refused it replace it with a new one even though I bought it only a few days back. Customer satisfaction was the last thing in his mind.

I understand most of the retail shops in India are not giant corporations like they are here. But one thing people have to remember is that some of these giant corporations also initially started out as a small store. It is because of their acute business sense and their emphasis on customer satisfaction that they were able to grow this big.

Community

Apparently I live in a community. If there are lots of houses grouped together then it’s called a community here in the US. But the strange thing is I don’t know anybody else in the so called community other than my next house neighbors. Even the neighbors I see them once in while especially during summer. In winter I don’t even know whether they still live there or not.

It’s the total opposite when I used to live in India. I used to know almost everyone that lived in my street and there is a lot of socializing that goes on within a community. But I think that’s the other extreme. People around me used to be extremely nosey and there used to be very little privacy. There’s always a lot of pressure to be better than your neighbors because you know a lot about them and they know a lot about you.

I am not sure which is better. Both have their own advantages and disadvantages. May be a little bit of both might be good.

What do you think is better?

In Search of Humidity

Back home I come from a very humid place. It used to be so humid that you sweat a lot. You have no choice but to shower at least 2 times a day.

Now I live in Midwest US. Here winters are quite severe with temperatures going below Zero. So most houses obviously have heaters installed. Because of the dry air from the heater we are absolutely left with no humidity in the house. Even with the humidifier the air is usually very dry. So now I am in search of humidity. I have centrally installed humidifier in my house and I have many personal humidifiers. But still air seems pretty dry. My 2 year old sometimes bleeds from his nose due to lack of humidity.

It’s just funny when I think about the fact that I used to hate humidity back home and long for it here.

Odd Jobs

I was watching one of the Indian movies and in one of the scenes hero shopping in a retail shop hands over the credit card to the cashier and the cashier hands it over to another guy who is employed out there just to swipe the credit card.

It’s really amazing the kind of manpower we have in India and the kind of work people are ready to do. I am not making fun of the guy swiping the credit card. These are some people desperate to earn money to make their ends meet.

There are lots of resources available in India who is ready to do odd jobs to make life of middle and upper class easier and comfortable. Even though what they are doing is sad, I think the kind of comfort you can afford in India cannot be imagined by normal middle class here in US.

But the plights of people who are doing such jobs are sad though.

What do you think?

Date of Expiry

Why is that none of the Indian products I buy here in US having a proper expiry date? It has a date on it. But for some reason I am not sure whether it is credible.

I have never cared about the expiry date of the product till I came here to US. It’s probably because I wasn’t buying groceries in India. My parents used to. So because of this expiry date factor,I am always very hesitant to buy any Indian snacks from the store. I buy dry groceries and vegetables, but always hesitant to buy snack products.

One more reason for this is bad enforcement by the Desi store keepers here (although it is much better than how it was a few years back.). I have had some bad experiences with some desi store keepers selling expired products to me and not even repenting the fact that they are doing it.

Do any of you feel the same way / had same kind of experiences?